I never want to talk about it, ever again. Because it is dragging me down, something that keeps people up is dragging me down, and the worst part is I don’t know why.
So I figured I could just be the girl in the movie that gets it all right at the end, but then I also figured maybe everyone else that has been involved in this boring scene may be the main character, why would I be? Anyhow I also could; as I always do, figure the way I had to take this situation, my imaginary situation. I just won’t let it consume me. I would be part of my own movie, because in my head everything is that way, and how beautiful could it be, to be the main character of all your thoughts. To be so deeply in love with them, so deeply in love with yourself. I fell in love with myself, everything I thought started to make sense when I started to believe I was enough. And enough just for myself.
Falling in love was bringing me down, and what could I know about falling in love? It was the first time so I didn’t even know if it was real or if it was all in my head. So I took a long walk and decided I could be in love, someday, today or forever if I started that same day. While talking to myself, trying to convince me that I was worth it, I heard a dog barking at something or someone I couldn’t see, and for the sake of the process I decided to take my situation exactly the same. Even though I couldn’t see in myself the person that I so descriptively created inside my head I would hear her voice, my voice, and become that person.
It kept dragging me down, and I said I never wanted to talk about it ever again. Well there’s no need, a simple glance into his eyes changed the climax of my movie. But then again I convinced myself he was just one scene of the neverending story I’ve actually created for both of us already. That changed it all to another perspective, maybe I was so drown in my own thoughts that I made him the main character of a movie I couldn’t be a part of.
By Ana Fuente